Rather than dish out $50 for a slutty skeleton costume, I decided I would spend ZERO, count them, zero dollars this year and compile a costume from items in my closet and any cardboard B could scrounge up from Target. I would like to dedicate the resulting magnificence to my mom, who once crafted a She-Ra crown for me out of rubber bands, cardboard, glitter and paste-on-jewels. I loved that crown.
My Halloween, as usual, was two-fold in that I needed a costume for preschool, as well as one that I actually wanted to wear. My preschool-appropriate butterfly actually came out pretty well ... I maintain that teachers of young children could change the world given enough cardboard, feathers and unfettered access to a hot glue gun. I may have been a bit overzealous in my costume construction; by the time I finished my freaking wings it was 1:00 am and I had feather tufts spray glued to my face.
For my non-work costume, I wanted to do something that reflected certain aspects of my personality, namely my totally lame sense of humor. Last year I thought tying a pair of Doc Martens around my neck and going as a "pair-a-docs" would be the epitome of hilarity; that gives you a fair idea of what I was aiming for. After B caught me perusing a website devoted to "Punny Costumes" and vowed he would never let me live it down, I decided to seek advice from our family's most consistent (if not constant) source of word-play. Yes, I unleashed the beast and asked my dad to come up with some costumes. Below are the illustrations of his ideas; they came in the mail yesterday. I understood #1 and #2, but I couldn't figure out what the hell #3 was supposed to be. B got it right away, much to his horror ... we have endless family arguments about who is going to inherit Dad's sense of humor. I almost didn't post #4 because I think it's a new low, even for Dad. I had to call him and beg him to explain, and even then I didn't really get it. Any guesses?
I didn't use any of Dad's costume ideas due to budget and time constraints (how was I supposed to construct that pen-in-book contraption?), but I appreciated the effort. I ended up going as "Not-invited," a costume that was cheap, semi-funny, and had the additional bonus of being easy to remove for baby-snuggling and beer drinking. Happy Halloween!