Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Different Strokes

Date: Sunday, September 7, 2008
Location: Madison, Wisconsin

7:00 am:
My friend Anna begins Ironman Madison, her first triathlon.

I am asleep in my bed.

8:27 am:
Anna finishes the swimming portion of said triathlon and jumps on a bike to begin pedaling 112 miles.

I am still asleep.

10:34 am:
Anna is still pedaling furiously.

I get out of bed and make my way to my couch, stopping for a cup of coffee as I pass the kitchen.

11:32 am:

I make significant headway on my Entourage marathon and eat a bowl of ravioli.

12:18 pm:
Anna keeps pedaling her way through 112 miles and curses the world.

I watch Brett Favre throw his first touchdown as a Jet and curse the world.

2:20 pm:
Anna...you get the picture.

I answer a knock on the door and meet my neighbor for the first time.  He (cute, late twenties, tall, wearing clean clothes) wants to borrow a "cooking brush."  I (cute, late twenties, tall, wearing paint spattered pajama pants and an oversized t-shirt that says "gay? fine by me") tell him I have a broom.  He reiterates, miming a brushing motion with his hand.  I brilliantly reply "we don't cook much," and invite him inside while I rummage through the kitchen.  He leaves sans brush.  I drink more coffee and wonder why I don't have a boyfriend.  I think about taking a shower.

3:55 pm:
Anna finishes biking 112 miles and starts a fucking marathon.

I meet my sister, K, at a coffee shop near the race route.  When we walk inside, a small boy wearing a cape screams "MY DADDY BOUGHT ME SOME PINK AND BLUE ICE CREAM DO YOU WANT SOME I LOVE ICE CREAM AND I CAN FLY."  We decide that we do, indeed, want some ice cream.  K and I hurry to finish the ice cream before we see Anna.

5:34 pm:
Anna runs past us!  K and I scream and cheer with appropriate awe and glee.  Anna looks great!

6:03 pm:
K and I wander the race route splitting our time fairly evenly between cheering for the Ironman athletes and mocking the Madison natives who are out for their evening jog.  Amateurs!

6:17 pm:
We see Anna again! She still looks great.

7:05 pm:
Another Anna sighting!  She's got roughly 12 miles left and says she might be walking the rest of the way.  I point out that I've been walking around all day and find it to be a fine method of transportation.  I give Anna a hug and tell her I'll see her at the finish line.

8:06 pm:
Anna is still moving!

K and I go for a 3 mile run.  Whooo-eee are we beat!  We congratulate ourselves on our good time (30 min.) and make plans to run again sometime.  In the future.  Someday.

9:03 pm:
Go Anna go!

I ice my broken foot.  Yes, I strained my arch WALKING around WATCHING Anna compete in a triathlon.  I am humiliated.  And sore.  I blame the flip-flops!  THE FLIP-FLOPS I TELL YOU.  I watch more Entourage and eat a popsicle to console myself.

10:00 pm:
Anna is runnnnnnnnning.

I convince my brother, B, to drive me the 7 blocks to the finish line because my foot is so sore.  I promise B and K not to embarrass them by limping or showing any other signs of weakness in front of Anna.

10:09 pm:
Anna crosses the finish line alongside her husband Jon.  They are beaming.  They look tired.  They look great!  I snap a few pictures and give Anna a hug.  Anna attempts to thank me for cheering, but can't string enough words together to form a coherent sentence.  Jon stumbles towards me and invites me to visit them in Minnesota.  They've just been exercising for 15 consecutive hours, and they're worrying about being polite.  Sweet Lord.  I say goodbye and watch them stagger into the sunset as I turn and begin to limp back to my apartment.



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